Coming Out To Myself Was The Hardest – And Best – Thing I Ever Had To Do

Looking back, the fact that it took me 20-odd years to realise I was gay is somewhat baffling. The clues were always there: At nursery school I refused to play dress up as a bride because I didn’t want to marry a boy (I eventually did an “accidental” wee on the dress to make sure I never had to wear it), and my favourite father-daughter pastime was when dad would balance me on the edge of the car, lift up the bonnet and show me how to check the oil and water.

It’s baffling, but not surprising. In Scotland, where I lived, homosexuality had only been decriminalised four months before I was born, in 1981. In 1988 Thatcher introduced Clause 28, which meant that local councils were not allowed to “intentionally promote homosexuality”. It would remain in place until 2003 – I would never be taught about LGBT sex or relationships in school.

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